Unchanging Childhood

'There's thirty six of them,' said the little boy.

I looked at the sachets he had in front of him. All laid out, set into their groups.

Ketchup. Brown Sauce. Vinegar.

'Ohh? You counted them?' I asked.

'Yeah.'

'Even the salt ones?'

The small salt sachets were lined at the edge of the table.

'Yeah,' and the little boy smiled.

'But what happens if you press them too tightly?'

'They go splurge.'

'Do they?'

'Yeah! You squeeze them and they all go up.'

'And they'll be messy.'

'They all go intogether.'

'Yes. They become a big Sauce Cloud.'

'Yeah!'

'And the Sauce Cloud starts to rain salt.'

'Like a Dust Cloud?'

'Well...a Dust Cloud would be dangerous.'

'It would go into your eyes. You wouldn't see anything.'

'No. No you wouldn't.'

'You'd be walking around like this.' Here the boy tightened his eyes and started reaching out, moving his arms about, making them search through the air.

'And everyone else would be as well,' I said. 'Let's hope we don't get a Dust Cloud then. A Sauce Cloud would be so much better.'

'Yaay! I can have chips with it.'

Last night I ended up watching The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. There was a moment towards the end where Mr Sellers is filming his penultimate film Being There. One line spoke struck me.

'You're always gonna be a little boy...'

Often I'm criticised for being a 'big kid'. That I prefer watching cartoons to repeated 'comedies' on Sky channels. That I have a small plushie dog toy on my bed. That I read children's stories because their easier on my head that literary fiction. The adult world is crazy and nasty...at least with being a child I can distinguish between right and wrong much more easily. Not to mention that the world is coated in much more sugar.

Every day I walk out off my house and I see the same sight.

Or do I?

Everyone else saw the old lady across the street throwing bread to the birds from her apartment landing.

I saw a number of seagulls crying and screaming for their lives as chucks of bakery products where falling upon them.

So for someone who has been shown a world where I can drink, attempt to seek out sex, dabble in music and flirting and where drama is rampant, I say, 'I'm always going to be a little boy.' That way I can probably be counted as 'crazy' in this highly structured and normal world.