And all because I went to see Love, Simon (2018). Throughout this (magnificent) teen film, I remembered being an age where I was terrified of coming out of the closet. But there was also a degree of excitement. This potential that I was to be inaugurated in a life with secrecy, flamboyancy, glitter, icons and who knows what else.
And there was fear of rejection.
Which to a degree I did face.
And do still get scared of on occasion.
But the main throwing of my emotions was Love, Simon's happy ending. There seem to be many theories of how they're to be formulated or played out. And here we have a film telling us that they are run-of-the-mill and normal. Is this a realistic portrayal? Now I should know, as someone who watches around two hundred films a year and reads a large amount of fiction that realistic endings are bizarrely low. So I'm somewhat confused.
And yet...
I have managed to be single for just over four years now. So we'll say that's 1, 460 days. And I'd guess I've been overly sad about being single for around 100 of those in total. That's not bad. The majority of them taking place after my last breakup. And then those days that no matter where I go I'll be bumping into couples everywhere. That's when the early Bridget Jones in me starts to crave my sofa and pile of Cadbury's chocolate. The worst part of those "problematic" days is that they feel much longer than the happier days.
I like to think of myself as a Champion of Singledom. The amount of activities and value of being independent are both in high measure. And regarding the amount of breakups I've been hearing about in the past two to three months, I have been learning that no relationship is guaranteed.
So today has been a beautiful new day. I got up at a reasonable time this morning, have placed one set of laundry on (for my work uniform more than anything), read over and completed one chapter of writing and restarted my blog here.
So if this is your first time to this blog, I'm glad you've taken the time to read it.
I owe it to myself to be more creative and active and healthy and cultured.
And most of all, I owe to it to myself to be myself.
