Illness. Uncertainty. Fears of what the future may look like.
The majority of the world went through these turbulent feelings throughout the past two years.
I've only been experiencing them in the last two weeks.
When I left my job, I got much encouragement to take time for myself. Invest in some writing. Enjoy the books I've amassed over the years. Smell the roses. Or whatever scented candle B&M Bargains has for £2.99.
So I have done. With naps in-between. Recipes with the radio. Walks with a smile. I live a wonderfully frugal life.
But when fully awake; my brain has been doing calculations on my finances.
And then it's done Stock-Market-type sums on what my future is going to be.
Do I attempt to move to London? Manchester? Anywhere?
Will I actually finish my writing to be fit for publishing?
My father and I agreed that I tend to scare myself off doing things in life because I calculate so much that could go wrong. It's a habit I'd like to break. As for being unemployed... Lockdown with Furlough period was too much of a good thing for me. I got used to not having to work. I was enjoying the smaller things in life that I always wanted to around a full time job. During this period my body and brain got doses of a relaxed lifestyle.
But now with no further money coming in, one has to be careful.
Yet when it comes to my future, reckless could be the way forward.
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