WorkWorkWorkWorkWork

With sun scorching the land and perceptions of, "good weather," across the continent; I've been sticking to my red-headed logic and have remained indoors. Although attending a job is somewhat responsible. Over my laptop I can see the children from the neighbourhood play in the street; probably enjoying the summer that seems endless.

Working from home has its perks. Yet one downside is you genuinelly see how much time is spent in a job. I often have a muted television playing behind me. Mainly because I work for this particular television channel; so I leave it on. Maybe due to a sense of loyalty. Or monitoring. Or that 24 hour news channels can burn their insignia and graphics onto the screen because of their perpetual presence. But I leave this particular channel on running. And with it I see a huge collection of shows. I'm not sure I gave into daytime television during lockdown. I find it somewhat a luxury; to be able to have free time to soak in the wholesomeness of the broadcasting.

Time management is something I'm still working on. At this time of year, close to my birthday, I do feel exhausted. With nearly another full year under my belt, I calculate whether or not I've done much. And in some ways yes I have. Managed to get to my first concert post-lockdown. Got to attend two weddings. Had major drama at my job and had to face the scary prospect that there was no one I could trust. Quit my last job with no plan on the next step. Started another job; navigating it with worry, disappointment, brewing confidence and a now worn keyboard.

But the lockdown laziness did still surround me. It may have been a balance of caution due to COVID-19 being dramatically present - and still is. If I'm being honest it may have been hesitation; because I still don't know what to do with the next step of my life. I do know now that I don't wish to be working all my life. I'm not talking about retirement. There's no guarantee I'll see that with rising retirement age, climate change and other factors. So I'm not willing to spend all my today's time working as if it'll bring me glory.

My father has "asked" me to cut the grass today. Well - suggested heavily that I have to. My first ever manager was the same. There must be something about Northern Irish men in their late fifties / early sixties where they think the ideas they have for other people (particularly younger people) to carry out will do the whole world good - but really they're serving themselves.

I may purposefully do a bad job of it so I don't have to do it again. Again - there is work that just won't benefit me too much.