The (half-way to) End of Summer

The week has had a few drops of the past. Welcome ones. Moments that have helped me seal, appreciate and see the journey that I've been through to come to the lessons I've learnt. And I feel much better about myself; that I now no longer bear any ill will towards others who have harmed me. These trials do come with a time period. Yet with giving myself more patience; I sense I'm becoming faster at recovering and learning from them.

The past two days I've not been in work. That's because my schedule fell onto this weekend. The weekend of Belfast Pride 🏳️‍🌈. It does mean I'll miss the parade. And a few friends who are gearing up to fly their rainbows high. But my best friend was in Belfast the last two days. And together we travelled to various pubs of Belfast; soaking up all the (in my case; non) alcohol choices we could. The city was ripe with crazy people. Not the sort involving Us vs Them as Belfast has contained in its past. No. This particular Thursday night my friend and I couldn't help but be faced with several people who had a derranged sense of humour. I'm not talking about finding a twisted joke funny. I'm talking about causing actual harm to other people. Sometimes it felt like Terry Pratchett's Ankh-Morpork has suddenely spilled out its craziness into the city. This is when one has to remind themselves that Pratchett bases his findings on what the world is actually like. That humans have always been chaotic. No matter which city you fall into; real or fictitous.

My friend and I found ourselves in McHughes for our last drink. Not just because it's a gorgeous looking pub; but because it's somewhat out of the way from the main City hotspots. True on Saturday nights it's difficult to get a chair. But on a Thursday my friend got to chose from several spots to ourselves. It was the perfect wind down.

And also, with it being at Custom House Square on a calm summer evening; it triggered my nostalgia.

That area always reminds me of the end of summer. The years following my University graduation; where I had gotten the first place of my own. Music festival Belsonic would feature in the last couple of summer weeks. In those days it would be held at Custom House Square. It was usually the chosen, "Rock," event I'd be in attendence to.

(2011) Thirty Seconds to Mars - terrible.

(2012) Paramore - I seemed to be the oldest there (aged 25).

(2013) Nine Inch Nails - wet. Due to rain. And an ex-lover.

(2015) (Redacted due to possibly being cancelled) - Great night as it was my birthday.

Once the gig was over I'd be off home. It would take a twenty-five minute walk. Safe. Due to a large police presence. And that a mass exodus of the crowds meant you were safe in numbers.

That bittersweet end-of-summer vibe always landed when those gigs were over.

We're currently around four weeks away from the end of summer. And the lessons I've learnt, even just this year, have been vast. The main one I'll mention here is to appreciate the bitter and the sweetness of the season's end.

But the sweetness is accelerated this year. Because my thirty-fifth year was one of the rough ones. And I may be glad to say goodbye to it. It joins my 19th year (the year of coming out) and my 22nd year (the year of trying to assert myself in the world yet was met with backlash) as one of the more difficult times. Where a small group of people felt I was expendable for their drama. That's happened before. But then maybe I need such a scorching from those people in order to know to stay away from them.

Again; another lesson. I'm very lucky to have the chance to learn them.

I sincerely hope my job is quiet today. That way I can enjoy some reading. Once I clock out, it's onto have a nice Pride 🏳️‍🌈 themed evening with a huge slice of rainbow cake and whichever queer related movies happen to look good.

So I'm wishing Belfast a very happy Pride. I just hope the crazies I mentioned before find something on television for today to keep them from causing harm.